Speaking Of Dragons
by Kshetra
Summary: On why you should not mix Mai tais, Draco and Dragons


SPEAKING OF DRAGONS  
  
"Unique is just the good way of saying weird."  
  
-----Paki (my friend on me commenting that I was unique)-----  
  
It was the Monday before the first task for the Triwizard Tournament and Draco Malfoy was totally, royally drunk. It had been a stupid idea, well an excellent idea if you're the person getting drunk. All it took was a simple charm that turned harmless butterbeer into the likes of a mai tai. Offcourse it didn't taste like mai tai as Crabbe botched up while copying the spell from his older brother's diary. (A grand affair in which he kept records of all that he ate in an hour on a day for every day of his life, spells for gorging more than your stomach's worth and offcourse how to get drunk on butter beer.)  
  
The truth being told Draco was less drunk than his fellow housemates as his two kind friends out of respect for their appetite ahem friend, had spared him many a bottle. Hence he still retained the ability to talk, walk and smirk. It had however, enveloped him in a false sense of happiness and daring.  
  
It was this happiness and daring that had initiated Draco into proposing to the sleeping Slytherins that they go and free the Blast-Ended Skrewts so as to give the champions the added pleasure of trying to catch them the next day. It was also this daring that caused Draco, Crabbe and Goyle to sneak out of the dungeons, up the steps down the hall and out into the grounds.  
  
They had reached the cages and were wondering how to free them without getting pussed on, stinged or bitten when they heard the noise.  
  
It came from far away, away from the castle near the forest and was like a wail, deep sonorous yet strangely pathetic. On any other given Monday Draco Malfoy would have taken an about turn and run for it, but today he had instead moved towards the noise. Crabbe and Goyle who had no side effects such as sudden dazy fearlessness did their level best to hit him on his head and drag him back into the school, when however they were unsuccessful (after Goyle hit thin air and Crabbe a tree) they did the next best thing of staying behind and promising to run back and owling his father if he yelled for help.  
  
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Draco walked on determined counting his steps as he went // one.two.three.. five.. four//. Soon he lost sight of the castle and then the lake. He was rather glad that the noise did not lead him right into the forest, his past experiences not being pleasurable. He wondered numbly why he was doing it.  
  
// Thing that wailed in the night could not be good// he knew that but he was strangely attracted to the noise and his feet carried him forward.  
  
//234.. 233.235//. He came to a halt at 235 and looked up as he saw light before him. For a second he just stared as he looked into the enclosure. And then his mouth worked soundlessly as he pronounced //dragons//  
  
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In a trance he moved towards the enclosure and entered it. Twenty feet from him lay a dragon basking if that was possible before the bonfire. In the distance he could make out more huge figures and counted rather inaccurately five. He looked around for the dragon keepers. He knew quite well that there could not be five dragons in Britain without keepers. In the moonlight and fire he made out the tents far away.  
  
He heard the wail again from the dragon before him and he jumped back a few spaces more in wonder than in fright. // It was asleep. //he realized and moved a step forward. If he had ever-payed attention to Hagrid when he went into one of his "dragon rambling" he would have known that dragons can hear the slightest noise.  
  
However as he never did pay attention to Hagrid and moved forward anyway, the supposedly sleeping dragon suddenly rose to its full height and stared him in the face and said  
  
"And what are you staring at?"  
  
Comman sense told him that dragons couldn't talk and it would be best for his hide to run for his life but something else (probably the mai tais) made him answer cheerfully "at you. I've never seen dragons before."  
  
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"He's been gone an awful long time," Goyle said looking at Crabbe's watch, which was turned upside down and had stopped working since he hit the tree.  
  
"I think he might have been attacked and fallen a.aasleeeeep" said Crabbe yawning.  
  
"Don't say that he ..he can't be in trouble." Said Goyle suddenly looking very worried  
  
"Why not?" asked Crabbe  
  
"Imagine him ..him dead, who will do our homework for us Crabbe?" asked Goyle  
  
Crabbe stood up looking suddenly aghast "oh my god, we should look for him. He is after all like, like a brother.and he does get so many sweets from home." Said Crabbe looking longing suddenly  
  
"Right. so we will go after him and save him." Said Goyle standing up swaying and giving his hand to Crabbe .  
  
"Yeah" said Goyle standing up and taking a step forward. It was then that they heard the second wail, louder and longer.  
  
They both halted and looked at each other.  
  
"On second .thought" said goyle looking rather shaky. " On second thought it would be better if we waited. Draco does sometimes get angry when we follow him"  
  
"Er yeah" said Crabbe and he slumped down again "besides I had another thought"  
  
"What"  
  
"We don't need our homework till day after tomorrow" said Crabbe as snuggled down and fell asleep  
  
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The black dragon reared on her long neck and thoughts of reducing the intruder to sheesh kebab temporarily left her brain.  
  
With its gleaming eyes it saw that it was a human boy who was approaching and realized it was not a dragon keeper. She also realized that "the boy" was talking.  
  
"So" said Draco "you're a dragon," he said trying to peer at it more closely.  
  
What came out of the mouth of the dragon would seem to a dragon keeper rubbish and gibberish but what Draco heard was a snort and a sarcastic rumble "no, I am just something dressed up like a dragon"  
  
" Oh" said Draco, a grin of relief spreading on his face "well you're a pretty good imitation"  
  
"Hm.a funny one how interesting" said the black dragon peering almost as intently at Draco Malfoy as he was looking at her.  
  
"Tell me what do you want?" asked the dragon. "Is it dragon blood or is it my hide? Or perhaps one of my spikes to show to your friends as a trophy" saying this she brandished her tail at him as much as she could with all her shackles and chains.  
  
" No not really, could I have a piggyback ride? I've never ridden a dragon before, you know" he said matter of factly staring at her tail and counting again inaccurately eighteen spikes.  
  
"You think that I would ever allow you to take a ride on me? Or were you making fun of my bondage" she said fiercely as she shook her chains rather forcefully. But they did not come off. Not in the least.  
  
"Um.what's your name?" said Draco carefully avoiding the question  
  
"None of your concern"  
  
"That.. that's a strange name"  
  
"None of your concern" looked at him with utter disgust (it was done by narrowing her eyes, grimacing to the right and looking down at Draco all of which Draco felt rightly had been copied from him.)  
  
"I see that you are plain stupid human, dumb therefore amusing"  
  
"Am not. The only person who beats me in class is that mudblood and the only person who can beat me at qudditch is that.. argh. Like I said I am not stupid," he said resolutely  
  
"Fine you are not dumb you stupid human. So? You are a student at that school? A champion perhaps? What are you doing here? Isn't your task for tomorrow?" asked the dragon bending so low that for the first time they stood face to face or saw face to face.  
  
"No.I am not a champion, not Triwizard one anyway. Not old enough you see though that didn't stop potter from getting .." he trailed off for a second and then with a look of pure delight he asked "wait potter has to fight you?"  
  
"No, not fight me. Get past me. At least one of the champions has to. That's what I heard those humans say"  
  
"Fight you, get past you, what's the difference? Look if you get the fella for whom they'll wave these little golden flags and stuff whose name is potter just mince him okay, like real well like the way they chop for lamb chops you know" he said entreatingly  
  
"No I do not know. I am in the habit of eating of lambs as a whole, more civilized. "Besides" she said gold is not a colour that I can see."  
  
"What do you mean you can't see gold? I thought dragons could see real far"  
  
" I can see far, but dragons can't see gold, it will appear as grey. Why do you think all knights of old had bronze and gold coloured armours?"  
  
"Oh" said Draco looking rather worried but then smiled "well just mince whoever you get. not that any of them amount to much."  
  
"I will do it, but not for you but for my children" she said  
  
"! Can I see? I have never seen kiddy dragons, who's the mother?" he asked trying to peer behind the dragon.  
  
" I AM THE "MOTHER" said the dragon primly  
  
"Oh" said Draco realizing like any guy that he had done a deed even worse than saying "your fat". He tried to come up with something to say but she interrupted  
  
"Don't, humans don't have eyes I know that since long. You are clumsy noisy and dumb" she said.  
  
"Right! Quite right you are? So can I see them?" blabbered Draco trying to look behind her  
  
"They are not kiddy dragons. They are yet not born." She said and moved slightly so that he could have a look at the granite coloured eggs behind her.  
  
Even Hagrid could not have matched draco's speed as with total unconcern he walked up behind the dragon and with much difficulty picked up one of them "can I pick them up he asked" as he looked at the egg in his hand.  
  
If Draco Malfoy had been muggle or even half muggle he would have known quite well from discovery channel that to pick up the offspring of any animal when the mother is nearby is a very bad move. Unfortunately he was not muggle and was hence saved from the knowledge that she had almost thrown fire at him but had restrained herself because he was holding her egg and also because he was the only one who could."  
  
"Put down the egg very slowly boy, if you drop it I promise on your dead body that I'll hunt down all your relatives" she said in what seemed in a hissing voice.  
  
Unfortunately the threat was taken rather literally "oh don't bother Crabbe and Goyle promised that they would do that." "Besides" he said putting down the egg slowly," I would never drop it, on my honour, Malfoy honour" he added straightening up  
  
The dragon looked at him for a second and then at her egg and asked, "Do you think that I would believe the word of a boy whose name literally means bad faith""  
  
" Well dragon "none of your concern" if you must know my first mane is Draco. I am quite sure that my parents named me "dragon bad faith" to be an example of the rampant bad faith that dragons practice" he said and looked every inch a rather swaying orator.  
  
"You are not fit to be named a dragon. You are too puny" she said  
  
Draco Malfoy had in his life been called a lot of thing "puny" was not one of them. "Puny?" I am five foot nine I'll be six foot next month. Do I look puny to you?" he asked striding closer to the dragon.  
  
"I am fifty foot one. How is that to your five foot nine?" she asked challenging  
  
"So? Your just 44-foot 6 inches taller to me. Beside I am a kid you're a full grown mother. I'll grow more," he said  
  
For a second she just looked at him and then gave off a rumble that sounded a lot like laughter "we shall not argue dragon bad faith but you must really be learning how to subtract by now I am 44 foot 2 inches taller"  
  
"Right" he said ignoring the last part of her "so what type are you? I mean where do you come from?"  
  
"I am a Hungarian horntail, if it is the breed you ask. As for where I am from. It is from captivity." She said  
  
Draco had never seen a dragon sigh but he had pretty good idea that when dragon hangs her head and steam comes out of its nose its probably is sad  
  
"You could get free couldn't you. I mean you've rather strong right," he said looking at the chains in the dim moonlight.  
  
"And do what? There are very almost no free places a dragon can go to. There is no place for dragons anymore." She said  
  
"Oh," said Draco consideringly subdued. "You know, you could stay at the London "fantastic animals and where to find them" zoo. Good food I hear" he said  
  
"And pray, is that not captivity?" she asked  
  
"Well offcourse but you'd be famous. " None of your concern, the amazing talking dragon" he said  
  
The deep rumble that had strangely to Draco resembled laughter came again. "Talking dragon eh? Well I'll think of it. And shouldn't you be going back to bed dragon bad faith?"  
  
"Er. yes I should. Well, right okay , I'll just go back." He said and stumbled back. He dearly wished he could stay and talk but it was like at her suggestion the sleep that had been forgotten was again invading his eyes.  
  
"Goodnight dragon bad faith, may the fates be good to you" she called after him  
  
He stopped and turned around and started stuttering something that went "hail dragon of Hungary" but the dragon interrupted him "you don't have to say anything grand, it's a customary greeting for us. I don't expect you to say anything like that.  
  
At this he suddenly flashed her a huge grin rather lopsided yet a grin and offcourse his face shone from this uncommon expression.  
  
"Well S'long then "none of your concern," kick your champions ass from my side. And don't forget about London. Call me if you need any help. I'll get my father to do it. Good connections he has in the zoo."  
  
She watched as he stumbled out of the enclosure, and she willed his mind not to look back and not to wonder about their conversation. It was better that way. She watched him as he stamped without any recognition on Crabbe and Goyle and went on. She watched him with her gleaming yellow eyes until he disappeared even from her dragon sight. // A talking dragon am I . He will realize later// she thought and then curled up and became once more just a dragon in captivity.  
  
The next day many things happened. The list of things in no particular order is:  
  
Crabbe and Goyle woke up in the school grounds around nine o clock in the morning they did not remember how they had reached there and went back to their comman room each with a footprint on his face. This, as we all know was just a taste of what they would achieve on the trip back from hogwarts.  
  
"None of your concern" did get Harry Potter and was sadly unable to do much against him. Though she was clever she was fooled into thinking that the golden egg was hers as it had looked grey to her. and no she did not talk to Harry Potter.  
  
Draco Malfoy woke up the next morning with a perfectly called for hangover but with no remembrance of the previous night. His last memory was that of trying to count the no of butter beers he had drunk and again counting inaccurately ten. He did however retain certain sympathy for dragons in captivity and the little known knowledge that dragons could not differentiate between gold and grey.  
  
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Authors note  
  
Hello, all of you who have read. So what do you think? Is it very bad or just like slightly bad? It came to me while I was learning chemistry (funny how I seem to get inspiration during things like history and chemistry.) anyway I was thinking about future chapters of my other story (which I haven't abandoned) and no there shall not be any dragons in my story but anyway I was going to introduce the fact that Draco likes dragons and I wanted a better reason than his name is Draco. When I was learning or was supposed to be learning I meant to make this real funny but anyway. Plus I sort of told my friend rain to check this out and she shall make so much fun out of me if this is not good!!!!  
  
Oh and the grey and gold thing is just something I made up. I felt rather strongly for the dragons in goblet of fire. They are basically treated as dumb and I guess its because I have watched dragon heart that I rather think they would be clever. Hence this story. Please do review. 


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